the memorial

Surimono Album - 2001 (Print #6)

This print is by a Canadian artist named David Bull. His work is amazing. David attributes the original to Ogata Korin, a Japanese painter who died in 1716.

Ben's memorial was a nice event. I had forgotten how much I loved the Reed College campus. It was nearly deserted except for the mourners. The place was very peaceful among the mature trees and the dignified buildings both old and new.

I have been to very few funerals or memorials that I can remember anything about. There were a good number of people there including several from the Reed community. I was struck by the very few I knew personally. Of those that I had met before, there were only a handful I could name. And so within a short time, it occurred to me just how alienated I had kept myself from Ben's life. It was a distance far greater than a few visits to a sick man could bridge and I became acutely aware that I had never really made that journey.

The ceremony started with Karen, Ben's widow, saying a few words. She is such a strong person and I was proud of the way she could speak about him despite her grief. Two of Ben's friends then said a few words. I had been backpacking with Ben and one of these men maybe 13 years ago. I had not known the other person at all despite his being obviously very close to Ben.

To describe the way I felt, I might use the word "over-represented." I am thinking of the printed program for the memorial. Karen had asked if she could use the pencil photo from an earlier posting here and for me to prepare it to be used as the cover art. The pencil had come from Ben's shop and it resonated with her. So I did that gladly. It wasn't until I was at the ceremony that I understood what a gift it had been for her to ask this of me. It gave me an opportunity to participate and allowed me to forget for a time that I was something of an outsider.

Of course, I could merely supply the image. The interpretation was far beyond me.