More clouds today

water beads
Originally uploaded by Tygh.

Ben died the morning of the 26th at 2:00. It seems strange to me that he is gone. I felt a little cheated since I was supposed to see him yesterday. He never woke up though. Ian wanted to come along and maybe have a chance to say goodbye once more, but that chance never materialized.

I thought of a few of things I wanted to tell him, but I am not sure I would have done a fair job of expressing them anyway. Ben and I never had the relationship he wanted. I am sure that remained true all the way until the end.

words to be spoken
the gift for a dying man
so impermanent